I’m normally one who gets annoyed with grumpy people.  Grumpiness is a waste of energy.  But every once and a while, I become once of those grumpy people, and in this case, for no tangible reason.  I take St Johns Wort religiously, to keep me on an even keel – and I believe it works.  If I run out and it’s a day or two before I get to a supermarket, I can begin to feel it’s effects slipping away.  It may be a placebo effect – if it is, it works for me.  Normally if I tell Graham I’ve run out, he’ll make a special trip to the supermarket to get me some more, because he knows I start to get irritable and generally ‘down’ when I’m not taking it.

This time, I’m not sure why I’m feeling the way I am.  I even have a spare bottle of St Johns Wort sitting at home, so I know that’s not the problem!  I think it came to a head last night, when I needed to take Ella to the first training session for the Canterbury Cross Country team.  7.00pm to 8.30pm (plus travelling across town).  A good whack of the evening… gone.  It was a rest day for me, but I felt cross that the only evening that I had free (and could have done core work, caught up on work-work etc), was having to be used in this way.  I felt tired and grumpy.  I think I was also grumpy that Graham hadn’t taken the lead and offered to take her.  I started feeling miffed that I take the children to most of their after school activities, and here was another one that I was expected to do, on a night that I could have used for other things.  But I impose these obligations on myself.  I could stop training.  I could scale back the activities the children do.  But I don’t want to.  Period.  Note to self – put up or shut up.

Fortunately Graham noticed I was looking a little worn down, and trotted her off to the meet instead.  I managed to get some core work done (which I can’t feel the effects of at all today – that makes me feel grumpy too…).

I’m lucky, touch wood, that no-one has irritated me at work yet this week.  I get some rather irrational situations to deal with sometimes, and normally I pride myself on my diplomacy.  But I think this week would be a challenge, and there would be much tongue biting to be had.

My grumpiness escalated this morning when I surfed my way through Stuff.  I found an article about a family here in Christchurch who were whinging because the cost of their childcare arrangements was going up, and their Government childcare subsidy was being cut.  Get this.  The family is currently paying just under $20 a week for full-time childcare, for two children.  Our children attended the same preschool and we paid $300 a week, because it was before the days of Government assistance.  Today we still wouldn’t be entitled to anything, because we’re above the threshold.  This family were whinging that they had to find another $50-something per week (in total, for both children). 

Their two children in preschool are aged 3 and 18 months.  Sorry, but did they not know 18 months ago when they had their youngest, that raising children does actually come with a cost?  Do I go next door to my neighbour and say “I want to have another child, and I want YOU to pay for it”?  Am I missing something, or did someone make this couple have children (they have three in total)?  I believe in taking responsibility for our own lives and our own actions.  And don’t get me started on people who complain about how overweight they are, then expect the Government to fork out for a gastric bypass procedure… with a “I don’t know how it happened, I just got this big” sort of attitude.  

One guy on Sportzhub recently admitted that they had bought a large family tent with the money they received from the Government by way of a family tax credit (so they obviously weren’t living in a shoebox and eating rice to be able to spend the credit on a ‘nice to have’ sort of an item like a tent).  Our family gets nothing from the Government and I don’t have a problem with that, because I’m comfortable that we are in control of our lives – no-one else.  But it does tend to cut a little deep when you see other families getting offers of assistance because they chose to have one more child than we did, or they elected to have the mother stay at home.  I’m not criticising any family who has a parent who has chosen to stay at home.  I could never do it, as my brain turns to turkey fodder without the stimulation that work provides.  I just believe in equality (including for couples who elect not to have any children) without instilling the “why do I bother” attitude I’ve developed since reading this morning’s Stuff article.  And I hope Mr Sportzhub gets lots of use out of his new tent.